Sunday, May 25, 2008

Acts of Creation

So in the midst of all this super tedious work, I find myself asking the question I always come around to when I feel overwhelmed-- who in their right might would do such tedious work for so little financial reward, and why don't I get a real job? The obvious answers are all there, getting to be home with Robert, doing something different and the whole not-a-desk-job thing, but this morning as I'm contemplating putting together maybe hundreds of jump rings, I feel like I need more than that. I need some reassurance that 10's of thousands of Christmas ornaments and possibly several million knit stitches have done more than just make a living. I need to know that 12 years of teaching hundreds of kids to practice has done something for them. It's lame, but I want to know that I am building something. Even though I see examples of success all the time, there is a need for me to put it all together somehow. My studio is full of stuff, ribbons and fibers and beads and fluff, glass canes and tools and color and sculpture, point shoes and music and costumes and rhinestones. People talk about re-doing their artist statement every few years or so, but I see myself constantly redefining my life and my work. How often do you need to be able to say exactly who you are and where you are headed?

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